Bringing out the Big Guns

Okay, the title probably has a lot of meanings, but mainly it’s all around Sony’s Death Star game for 2008 (EARLY 2008, damn it), Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.

Man, all it takes is a few trailers from Hideo Kojima and we all forget that it’s been more than 3 years since this game first showed itself, every frickin’ time. We just eat up everything that man coughs or farts out, don’t we? And this time, it’s literal. Heh.

Anyway, I am loving the last few trailers and vids. Here are some thought on all the shiz coming out.

Naomi’s cleavage. Now, everyone’s wailing about why Naomi would be showing off her twin guns in a moment of crisis. Well, what do you expect, people? She’s asking Snake to rescue her. How ELSE do you get the old guy’s attention? Seriously though, Naomi Hunter’s the last MGS female I’d ever thought to show sex appeal, but hey- in MGS4 she’s a fox. She seems to have a big role in this final chapter, given how she created FOXDIE and all… who knows, she just may hold Snake’s life in her capable hands? Clearly one part of the game concerns rescuing her, and it appears Snake does succeed in doing so, with Raiden’s assistance (but hopefully not at the cost of the ninja’s life). Probably this will result in her being a fund for info and other stuff as the game progresses.

The FROGS/Haven Soldiers. If you missed it in the trailer; the four enemy soldiers in the hi-tech bodysuits and clawed booties were all female. They are apparently part of Liquid’s army, and you’ll probably face off with them a lot. To go with female bosses, there are now female grunts. Good stuff! I wonder if Snake’s crotch grab will work on them, as well?

New FOXHOUND. What the heck? Johnny Sasaki is now with the good guys? Is this a good thing? Still faceless, still got a bad stomach. But yeah, I like it. It’s a great finale for the perpetual loser, and I hope he does have a nice resolution. As for the other guys- they’re just big grunts. Meryl’s of course hot as always, but the uniform just is oh, not sexy. Naomi trumps her this time. I wonder if Snake will comment on her butt again?

Drebin and Little Gray. What the heck? It’s Chris Rock. Or Wesley Snipes. Or Dennis Rodman. Looks like MGS4′s anwer to the Merchant from RE4. Wouldn’t it be a scream if Little Grey was actually an Alien? Or turned out to be one of the Patriots?

Sunny. Olga’s daughter finally makes her appearance. What role does she play? She’s cute, but of course, she’s also, like, ten. But why do I feel like she seems to have come from a quiet mid-western town named Silent Hill?

Metal Gears, Metal Gears. Rex, Ray, Gekkoes, MkII… they’re all over the place. Hopefully you’ll get to fight a few of them. Or even pilot one or two. It all ends with this one, so a big battle with the Big Gears should be a given.

The game is Damn PLAYABLE already! Look around online and you’ll find gameplay vids. This game is the real thing. It’s gonna be huge and awesome. I just wish it’s long and sweet. I don’t mind hours of cinematics. Give us tons of missions, tons of bosses, tons of enemies to CQC and stuff into drawers. I want this one to last. ‘Cause it’s the last. Or so they say.

A playable demo is rumored, but don’t hold your breath. In any case, I just want the GAME itself. But another trailer won’t hurt, so just fart or vomit another our way, Mr. Kojima. We’re ready.

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